Procrastination runs in the family

So now I know where I get my inclination to stay up until all hours. My parents just had a 50th wedding anniversary, and the night before, we were all up until 2:00 a.m., matting photos, coming up with a table seating chart, sewing part of the party outfit... It was as if it were the middle of a workday. You can bet I scoffed when my husband woke up from his 8 hrs no more spritely than I after my <5.

My poor son. He is so damn tired. He got to bed one of the nights miraculously around 7 p.m., but the other nights -- with the northern and western extra 60-80 minutes of light (Michigan vs. our home in the DC Metro suburbs) and all the excitement -- he got such little sleep. The night we arrived, he went down at almost 10:00 (no nap, no real down time all day). Another night was almost 10:00 after a nap 3:30-5:00. The night of the party he was so overtired but couldn't even fall by 11:00 (he'd had a little chocolate at the party and a hard-won 2.5-hr nap earlier that day, thanks to a low of fossil fuels). The night we flew home (last night), it was almost 10:00 p.m. by the time we got him down; he'd had zero nap and not even 8 hrs of sleep the night before.

Today he was exhausted and could not figure out how to go to bed ... wanted me, but then wanted more food, cried and cried with his dad (the usual to-bed-putter and his sleep-mate for the past several nights at my parents' house).

Maybe part of the problem was that this morning, I had an appointment with a designer to discuss wall color and the organization of my new office... for the house we are moving into this week. (And that we got possession of today, but there was no electricity because I never called the company.) He was so confused trying to play in an empty house, wanting whatever was different than his current reality: "I want to go home and rest in my bed" (which he never does.) Then, "I don't want to go home. I want to stay here." Also: "I don't want to take the wagon. I want to ride my tricycle." Then later, when we have only the trike to take home: "I want the wagon!"

After this weekend seeing the way my whole family operates, I have no illusions that I will change my temperament, but I really do hope we can make some strides toward less last-minute and more thoughtful ways to approach life once we're settled in our new space (whenever that will be). But as long as he's three, is everything I try going to be thwarted anyway?

I've got to hope that sleep will help. Speaking off, I'm a little undercooked in that department, myself.

Moving Closer to a Bed

Nothing happens fast around here. But things do happen eventually.

Yesterday we put together the frame of E's new bed, the Vikare extendable bed from IKEA. Well, E's dad did it while E tinkered around and I finally installed a sort-of safety plug cover for an outlet that is newly exposed, behind where the changing table used to be. Apparently I, too, can use a screwdriver effectively.

The idea is to use a cut-up layer of the latex king mattress we're not using (long story), but the dissection has yet to be done. We weren't sure if we'd want the smallest, middle or regular twin size of the bed. I think we've decided on the smallest, because the kid is pretty small. But that will really put an end to one of us coming into his bedroom and lying down with him to get him back to sleep.

We've been going in rather than have him come in our room. Sometimes I fall asleep, sometimes I get back up after a few minutes, as my husband is more likely to successfully do. Whenever I write about this I feel like it sounds mean and that we should just be a happy family in a family bed forever.

But he was sleeping through the night, so it seemed like a fine time to give ourselves the space to be able to turn a light on before going to bed if we needed another pair of socks. Yes, some clothes are in the third bedroom, but that's getting annoying. If he hadn't gotten that cold and started waking in the night again, maybe we'd have moved faster on the bed.

But I do really want to create a Waldorfy-calm oasis in his room since the rest of our house is so cluttered. I'm even trying to sew him some curtains (putting in a darkening layer and dividing up the two panels that each cost me $2.50 on sale at Bed Bath and Beyond into four panels. I'll let you know how that goes). The idea is to create a softness that is subtle and harmonious with natural, organic forms. The curtains are linen, and I might at at the bottom as decoration (or to complete the length if they are too short!) a bit of gauzy cotton curtains we inherited with the house. First I'm going to try to use onion skins to dye them. Wish me luck!

I'm not sure that the snazzy rainbow silk I got him with a canopy in mind is going to work for this aesthetic. I got it from a Waldorf-friendly site with the hopes of making him want to lie and look at the pretty colors washing into each other rather than get out of bed to find another book to read. But now I think its coloring is too dramatic for the pale yellow and blue look we're going for (or rather I'm going for, since LJ would prefer funky modernist bubbles everywhere).

We're still not sure if we'll have the boy sleep on the new bed in our room for a few nights to get used to it or if we ought to put it straight in his room once the mattress is all set. He already has a new quilt in his room (pale yellow cotton from Target), but I'd like the curtains to be done and for me to try out the rainbow thing first, without him around. Maybe we're looking at December.

A bed of his own

We moved the bed today. Our two-and-a-half-year-old son is sleeping in his own room. There still has yet to be purchased the twin bed that will better fit in his tiny 8x10' (with no closet) bedroom, but at least the futon has moved. One change at a time, right? That's what I feel like I've read from Elizabeth Pantley in her No-Cry Sleep Solution books, and it's what our Waldorf school teacher told us (though Rudolph Steiner might say my son has outlived his need to nurse, and I don't buy it. See Anthroposophical Medicine, Breastfeeding and Weaning)

The futon mattress is still on the floor, so we haven't yet gained the feeling of containment a real bed might offer. He was around and playing when we moved things around - changing table out, prep smaller dresser to go in, etc. We did this after the nap was a no-go and then had a birthday party to attend, so he was super tired and happy to fall asleep tonight after only a few minutes on boob #2.

LJ and I haven't exactly hammered out the details about what will happen when the boy wakes in the morning and wants to nurse. I think we will let him come into our bed as he's used to doing around 5 or 6 to nurse and fall back asleep. Or I could go in there to keep him thinking he stays in his room. I usually can't fall back asleep until he's done anyway. Not sure I how nurse-slept so seamlessly for so long in the early days.

My hope is that at least we can get the boy to stay in one room for afternoon quiet time even if he won't really nap. And I think he'll enjoy having his own space in general.

We're goint on four and a half hours now, knock on wood. A typical night would see him sleep for about another six with possibly another hour or so after that. That means I should go to bed!