How lovely to enjoy a walk in the woods with my son and not be thinking of other things I could be doing.
Other than yesterday's trip to Hidden Oaks Nature Center, lately I've pretty much sucked at in-the-moment living. When you've got two adults and a three-year-old living in a house that is supposed to be clean enough to show to prospective buyers at the sound of a ring tone, there is a neverending battle to work toward "pristine." It's hard to enjoy lunch if you're thinking about needing to clean it up fast, or to drop down into play if you're focused on cleaning up everything else first and making sure all the animals stay in the damned barn. Really, I think they'd like to be in there. I mean, it's raining!
And speaking of rain, this past week it's been like an in-law who can't take the hint that it's time to leave. We are beyond lush. We are tropical, overgrown, dripping with fecundity out there in the natural world. Open house? Rain. Two potential buyers coming over at dinnertime on Wednesday and Thursday? Rain. Just as I'm about to head out to pick up a test at the doctor's office, to be followed up with a trip to the nearby nature center? Deluge. It was like a white-out, it was coming down so hard.
But then it stopped and I got a glimpse of blue. So off we went, and our trek through the trail actually found us following some sunshine. I didn't mind that I didn't have the camera, and I wasn't in a hurry. In fact, I had no desire to be home more than an hour before the folks came to look at the place. Longer than that would invite more messing than cleaning.
So on the trail, I dropped down and just enjoyed the damn nature! Outside and in the center. There was no one there. We watched the snakes, the turtles, the toads. We went potty. Twice. My son was my buddy, and we were explorers happily enjoying each other's company. It was kind of what I thought I'd do all the time as a SAHM but don't because there are other things to do. (Hey, I think I wrote those same words after a hike back in September. Not a coincidence. I seemingly can't keep it simple without some outside force. I think I'm happy and then enjoy stuff most when I'm sort of forced into it by circumstances and can't reach the computer, the dish towel, or my running shoes.)
I wonder if mindfulness is a buzz you can lose, if there's a tolerance you build up that makes it not so great if you spend all your time there. Like, maybe if I weren't so scattered all the time, I also wouldn't appreciate the focused moments so much. Maybe if you're always mindful, you lose how great that is.
What a brilliant philosopher I am to reason my multitasking. Except that I'm full of shit!